By Michael Turton
What trait usually associated with men should women try to adopt?
“Be more assertive when a man is being overbearing about his opinion.” ~Liam Gallagher, Cold Spring
“Decisiveness. Women have been more willing to doubt themselves.” ~Barry Wells, Beacon
“More independent. A good marriage is two independent people.” ~Tim Brennan, Cold Spring
“Less concerned with material items.” ~Connor Brennan, Cold Spring
As a subscriber and loyal supporter of The Current, I was dismayed to see this “On the Spot” question.
The question was flawed and offensive in multiple ways. The reified, binary, heteronormative cisgender roles that the question reinforces are extremely limiting and insensitive to the range of gender identities in our community. Also, the premise — that women should aspire to be more like men — was misguided.
Are men somehow so amazing that we women ought to attempt to emulate them? How about calling into question male privilege and toxic masculinity instead? Or perhaps consider the following: 88 percent of homicides are committed by men; male perpetrators constitute 96 percent of federal prosecutions of domestic violence; women make up 70 percent of victims killed by an intimate partner; 90 percent of perpetrators of sexual violence against women are men.
Why in the world would I want to adopt the characteristics that have led to these numbers? Why would the paper suggest that women should try to be more like their male counterparts? No thanks.
Our energies would be better spent helping our sons, brothers, fathers and husbands to adopt more empathy and compassion, to feel more comfortable expressing painful emotions, to become more vulnerable and tender with each other and with us.
I subscribe to The Current to keep up on local news and to support local media outlets. I am usually impressed with the paper’s commitment to progressive issues and thoughtful commentary. This one really missed the mark.