5 Questions: Rupert Holmes

Rupert Holmes, who lives in Cold Spring, is the author of Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide, which he will discuss Oct. 22 at Split Rock Books. RSVP at bit.ly/mystery-holmes.

Your novel is presented as a handbook for an exclusive school that teaches students the art of murder, or “deletion.” Where did the idea come from?
I couldn’t help but notice that bookstores have how-to guides on almost every subject, including one called Tattoos for Dummies, which sounds like a bad idea. As a mystery writer, I thought, “What would The Idiot’s Guide to Homicide look like?” But instead of a textbook, I thought I could create a campus that used the textbook — a finishing school for finishing people off. I wanted it to be a period piece from the 1950s because I don’t think you could get away with some of the murders with current forensic science.

The story is full of puns and one-liners. Where did you develop your sense of humor?
I had witty parents. My father was a Juilliard graduate who loved show business. He had a Mel Brooks type of humor and raised me on Jerry Lewis and Sid Caesar. My mother was a literate British woman with a very British wit. She raised me on Noel Coward and Oscar Wilde.

Can you say anything about the second volume, Murder Your Mate?
We were hoping for a Valentine’s Day [2025] release, but I’ve missed that. From the outset, the McMasters dean explains that murdering your mate is not a substitute for divorce, that “till death do us part” is a vow, not an appointment. I have to stack the deck in these books: I can’t have you murdering nice people or murdering for profit. It must be your only choice. The second of the four rules of McMasters is: If somebody makes your life so difficult that you just cannot continue, to delete them is merely a case of involuntary suicide.

Did you come up with the rules before you began writing?
I needed a faux moral code to make this nonsensical idea seem almost feasible. I was always impressed that Isaac Asimov began I, Robot with the laws of robotics — the rules programmed into them so that they will always be beneficial. We have people in our lives, most of us, where we can say, “Gee, I wish I’d never met them.” That’s not far from, “The world would be a better place without them.” And that’s not far from — for people whose existence has been primarily to cause suffering or heartbreak — “I could just kill them,” which becomes “I could just kill them.”

Who are your favorite mystery writers?
I don’t think most people understand that Agatha Christie is not Col. Mustard in the ballroom with the wrench. Most of her mysteries center around people in stifling relationships or yearning. I’m also incredibly fond of the Father Brown stories by G.K. Chesterton; they are exquisitely written. I was on The Merv Griffin Show with Orson Welles [in 1981] and mentioned my love of Chesterton. During the commercial break, Welles leans over and says [imitating Welles]: “It does my heart good to know that there’s a young man like yourself who appreciates G.K. Chesterton.” Then he told me a story about Chesterton that he said H.G. Wells had told him. I thought I might be dreaming. Another favorite is Ellery Queen, the pen name of Manfred Lee and Frederic Dannay, two cousins from Westchester. I started reading their novels at an early age because the detective wore glasses, and I had to wear glasses. And I thought, “Oh, the hero can wear glasses!”