Dennis Vetrano is a divorce lawyer in Beacon who offers legal and relationship advice online. He has 440,000 followers on TikTok (@drvlaw) and 230,000 on Instagram.
Did you expect your social media to have such traction?
No! It just took off. I’ve learned a lot about divorce and family law and families in the past 25 years, and I wanted to help people through the process because our system is accustomed to putting people on a conveyor belt to get the divorce done. They come out the other side of the judgment not realizing all the little but important things that were overlooked. You’re dealing with human beings who have been through what may be one of the most catastrophic events of their lives.
How did you figure out the nuts and bolts?
I asked a longtime friend with experience in radio how to be compelling. He said to be yourself. I started with TikTok. I try to make the reels feel like you ran into me at a bar. What would I tell you? I also have a podcast. We’ve done 47 episodes. They’re about the divorce process but also have a bit of relationship advice.
Free Advice on TikTok
“Do you want to know the major theme that I’m seeing in the divorce industry, as a divorce lawyer, as I do consults these days? I am seeing working moms doing it all, and I am seeing the husbands step back and say, ‘Huh, I don’t gotta do a thing! She’s got the kids, she’s got the groceries, she’s got the laundry, she’s got the meals, she’s got the work. And, by the way, she’s making all the money, and she’s paying for the house and doing everything else. I’m going to go to the firehouse, I’m going to go play this, I’m going to hang out with my friends.’ That’s the theme.” (8.1 million views)
“Don’t ever take sides with anyone else over your spouse. You are a team together. You are always together. You support each other, absolutely, and I know this sounds melodramatic, but to the death, honestly. And, listen, if you have a disagreement with your husband or wife, you talk to them in private about it, after the fact.” (6.8 million views)
“The act, the action of sleeping in the same bed with each other each night gives you an additional opportunity to connect. And it’s not just sex and intimacy. It’s being close to each other. It’s even just a couple of minutes that you’ll talk before you fall asleep. Those little windows of time are so valuable. We overlook them. Little windows of time to connect with each other: They are the most important thing in your marriage.” (1.4 million views)
What do you advise?
If you’re going to get married, make sure you choose well. You can’t do that until you know what you’re looking for, and what you need from another human being. There are people who want to conquer the world but also people I know who want to always have time on their hands. Be confident in who you are and what you have to offer; don’t allow anybody to devalue you. I get the most satisfaction when people respond with, “I’ve taken your tips and I’ve used this in my marriage” or “I needed to hear that” because it kept them motivated.
How did you get into family law?
When I graduated from law school, I started with a firm in Albany and found that I gravitated toward family law because it put me in the courtroom. My next job was in Hudson, prosecuting child abuse and neglect. Family law is probably the most important area of law if you really care about people.
Has social media brought you clients?
It has, but I’ve also had people call for a consultation before they need me.
